Disclaimer: Don't let yourself get to a point of no return. If you're having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, get help now: https://988lifeline.org.
Burnout is all too common in the tech world, especially with startups.
I've been lucky: only burning out once (maybe twice) in my career.
Startups amplify burnout
Startups can make you feel like you're working with a gun to your head.
If you don't ship that feature, a big customer won't sign.
Every month more runway evaporates.
You shipped a hack that crashes the system at all hours of the day.
There's doom lurking around every corner.
Even startup terminology encourages burnout.
Agile uses the word "sprint" to indicate a short period of time (1 or 2 weeks) to complete work.
If you're a runner, and you do nothing but sprint, what happens?
Your legs give out. You keel over. You trip and fall. You're splayed out on the asphalt gasping for air. Even the best sprinters in the world would burnout quickly if they sprinted all the time.
What's worse, you can't simply stand up and sprint more. You need real rest before you're able to sprint again.
The love of building software protects you only for so long
The love of building shielded me for a long while. It took 10 years before I experienced burnout.
I worked extra hours on the weekend "for fun" for several startups. I had a new idea and wanted to see it come to life. The work wasn't part of any sprint. It was "out of band." And I didn't want to deal with the politics of getting buy-in, so I ventured off on my own time.
It didn't feel like work. It was fun. I was learning something new and creating something I wanted vs. something that management wanted. I had time to breathe and explore.
The act of creation may fuel you for a long time. But you're living in a fantasy (and that's okay for a while). Sooner or later, reality slaps you in the face, startling you awake from your dream.
You eventually realize:
1. Your "spare time" work benefits the company, not you.
2. You are hired to deliver value to the company.
3. You won't be rewarded for all your extra time and work.
4. No raises, no bonuses, perhaps a pat on the back.
How do you know when you've burned out?
There is one universal symptom:
Apathy.
You stop caring about:
The company
The industry
Your work
Your team
Your family
Your personal life
Your health
Your dreams and ambitions
You feel numb. You float through the day in a fog. You're a husk of your former self, and you think "I used to be better." It's an awful, horrible, terrible feeling - to think that your past self is better than your present self. Imposter syndrome floods in.
The root of it all is apathy. We humans need emotion and meaning in our lives. Apathy is devoid of both.
Burnout is unique
And here's why you must let yourself experience burnout. Every person experiences it differently.
Your goal is to recognize your unique warning signs and take action. But you can't know your warning signs until you've lived it once.
So after you've reached burnout, take an inventory of your changed behavior.
Are you more irritable with your spouse or friends?
Do you withdraw and stop hanging out with friends?
Do you binge eat or skip meals?
Do you go on spending sprees, buying useless crap off Amazon?
Is it hard to get out of bed in the morning?
Does Sunday night fill you with dread because of work on Monday?
Do you sleep less or sleep too much?
Do you increase drug or alcohol consumption?
Do you stop exercising or exercise to excess?
Do you experience anxiety or other new health problems?
Any physical manifestations? Rashes, headaches, or other pain?
And write it down. REMEMBER your warning signs.
My warning signs are:
I stop sleeping 7-8 hours each night.
I start drinking more days of the week than not.
As soon as I wake up I start working, instead of easing into the morning.
I neglect exercise. (Lying to myself that I'll do it tomorrow.)
I stop caring about my work or the company.
You must protect yourself
The job of protecting yourself falls on you. You cannot rely on your company or management.
It is your responsibility to look out for yourself. And yes, your wellbeing is infinitely more important than your company.
But now that you know your warning signs, you can take action and put yourself on the right path.
The common advice is to take time off. And I've done that before. My first burnout, I took 2 weeks off to recharge. And it helped. But taking vacation is not a cure all. Vacation is a bandaid that eventually wears out and falls off.
The long-term strategy is to change your daily habits. You must fight burnout every day.
Take a real lunch hour, don't eat lunch at your desk.
Go for walks, get out in the sun.
Don't work on weekends.
Take vacation regularly (not when you're at the end of your rope).
Don't answer work messages after working hours. It can wait.
Set boundaries with your team and manager.
Explore hobbies outside of software.
See a counselor or therapist.
Lock your phone away and play with your kids after work.
Schedule happy hour with your friends every week or so.
Good startups give you the means of protection
I've worked for startups that don't work their employees into the ground.
They realize you get diminishing returns. You may work 80 hour weeks but the quality of work for those extra 40 hours is garbage.
They also offer generous holidays, flexible working hours, and unlimited PTO.
But it's up to you to take advantage and protect yourself. Nobody is going to do it for you.
Wrap Up
Let yourself get to the point of burnout (but not a point of no return). Everyone experiences burnout differently. Take note and recognize your warning signs. Then, take steps to protect yourself every day. Your wellbeing is your most important priority.
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